I can't even reject this paper

Dear Editor-in-Chief, Submission #xyz, entitled "***" concerns high-gain control. To accept a paper on high-gain control I would have to deny the Holy Trinity, in the name of Bode, Nyquist, and the Root Locus. That would violate my calling to teach Classical Control to whomever will listen to the Number. Therefore I am not able to read this submission in an impartial manner and respectfully request to be excused from associate editing it, for reasons of innermost conviction. I am grateful for your attention to this request, Felipe